soldiers

144 CLASSIC TOY SOLDIERS - ONE SINGLE SEALED BAG of Assorted Green Combat Positions - LOTS of FUN
$14.94
Just the right amount of soldiers to launch an all out offensive!! My 4 yo has two sets all over the house!! He loves them!

Soldier
$9.98
The plot on this action flick is pretty much disposable, and merely serves to set up some great scenes of carnage. Following the development of Kurt Russell as a baby to adult to outdated Solider, this movie is liberally dusted with action. Everything though, is merely setting the stage for the requisite end of movie battle royale that pits Russell against a company of newer, supposedly better Soldiers. Showing that experience in killing is better than just being trained to kill, Russell of course stomps the heck out of all of them. What more could you ask for?

March of the Wooden Soldiers (Colorized / Black & White)
$14.95
Being a definitive fan of Laurel and Hardy, and having a special place in my heart for "Babes In Toyland" (aka "March of the Wooden Soldiers"), I was excited to add another version to my DVD collection.

Alas, the colorization from Legend Films is a big disappointment. Already in possession of the excellent 2001 Goodtimes Home Video release, in which the colorization truly does approximate the technicolor look, I feel as though I have wasted my money. As for the black and white print, also included on the DVD, is a much poorer rendering than the pristine black and white version available through MGM Home Video.

The extras on the Legends release are nothing new. They have been included on other L&H releases by other companies, so there is nothing gained there.

Over all, I would suggest that if your heart is set on having a colorized version of this particular feature, stick with the 2001 Goodtimes version. The effect is much more pleasing to those of us wanting a "technicolor" appearence. As for the black and white version, stick with MGM's release. It truly is the best print available.

Sorry, Legend Films. You've missed the mark on this one!

Coming Home
$37.98
War is hell. War rips apart families, destroys lives and ruins nations. War is responsible for some of the world's great atrocities from which we will never fully recover, from 9/11 to mass genocide to quite possibly the most horrific war crime imaginable - Coming Home by The Soldiers.

An introduction, then. The Soldiers are three genuine, well, soldiers who can sing.. a bit. There's a handsome one, a chubby, cheeky looking one and then there's the bald one who looks a bit like Pluto from the Hills Have Eyes. And they've given up "defenden our country from teh muslems" (thank you, Youtube - always good for a quote from the mentally damaged) to join forces and create an album for.. well, that I'm not too sure about.

So what have the nation's finest created? Ooooh, go on - guess. That's right - a selection of songs covered ad nauseum by every other unoriginal cover artist under the sun. You could bin the track list of this CD and still know what you're going to get. Tears in Heaven, Bridge over Troubled Water, With a Little Help From My Friends, Against All Odds - basically; "hmmm, that song could be seen with a faint 'war' perspective, bung that in.' And there's also a few original songs in there as well, such as the title track, complete with that notorious Weapon of Musical Destruction.. oh the humanity, we're talking PAN PIPES.

Oh, and all you X-Factor obsessives; wretched, tragic creatures that you are, may recognise the handsome soldier from a previous series, where he was booted out in the early stages of the show. So it seems that courageous, lion-hearted young man was just destined to sing mawkish cover versions on a horrible, poorly conceived album. Sniff. The determination of our brave boys, eh?

I'm really struggling to find out exactly who this album is aimed at. Who the hell wants to buy this? The songs are all bargain bin, none more cheap sounding covers that have all been done many times before and the original songs are tedious, cliched slop. So who's it aimed at? War widows? Flag waving, red-faced, "send them all back" BNP cretins? Other soldiers for target practice? I really have no idea.

OK, look, I know this album is for charity and all that, but it seems that because it's "for a good cause" any heart and soul can be jettisoned out the window, and judging by the self-important, puffed out idiots on Youtube, to even think about criticising this record is tantamount to urinating on the flag. Like I've said before when reviewing other cringe-worthy charity attempts - put money in a tin by all means. But why give in to this garbage?

And if we really have to have a "war" themed album, with every song having some dubious, tenuous link, then damn it all, where is their pan-piped up version of Crank Dat by Soulja Boy? Or N-N-N-N-Nineteen? War Pigs? The A-Team theme tune?

Let's face it, it could only be an improvement.