mentally

Gacy's Place: The Undiscovered Corpses
$10.98
Just days ago, I awoke one morning from an oppresive sleep without dreams and felt for the first time the sad veracity of myself- how irrevocably small I was, how decidedly insignificant my days were, how pointless the rest of my days would prove to be. I experienced this dull pang of irrelevance first below the clavicle and behind the upper pectorals. The ache of this revelation gradually spread to my extremities, where it felt as if my arm and leg muscles where withering away, a catabolic retreat from the inequity of existence. I fixed my gaze on my immobile ceiling fan. It seemed much further away from me, as if I had actually diminished in size or my room, in correspondence with my new understanding, had expanded to mock me. I felt the urge to weep, but my shrunken heart, beating needlessly as it seemed, couldn't muster enough conviction to feel even loathing for itself. A little short of breath, I spent an unknown amount of time lethargically pulling the hairs that gave little resistance from my eyebrows and scalp before finally closing my eyes on the remainder of that inexplicable and piteous day.
Before I proceed further, I am compelled to say that good children's music that everyone can enjoy isn't necessarily (fortunately for me) hard to find. A day later into my self-imposed bedriddance, my bladder was so perilously near rupture that I considered saturating myself over exerting the necessary care to find the bathroom. I decided then and there that a little light-hearted, funnin' around music for kids couldn't make me feel any worse. I relieved myself over the toilet and then, with great trepidation, dressed myself and drove to my local Border's (sorry, Amazon!). My purchasing decision in the children's aisle that day is where this review, and the newest chapter of my life, really begins.
"Gacy's Place: The Undiscovered Corpses" by The Mentally Ill is totally the best collection of children's songs ever recorded! This album reminds me of the idyllic childhood that I never quite had. In its youthfulness, it rebuilds my hope in the future upon each listening. Gacy's Place, a sonic sanctuary that predates Pee-Wee's Playhouse, is a domicile of wonder and fun in which all things zany could happen at any moment. The opening track, a Sousa-esque march rife with lush banjo accompaniment, aptly sets the mood for the rest of the album: "Gacy's Place!/Gacy's Place!/Fun fun fun/For the human race!/Come on in/Pull up a seat!/'Cause Gacy's Place/Is the funnest place to meet!" Really, the highlights on this album are too numerous for me, to my discredit, to mention. One favorite of mine is "Split Crotch Straight Jacket", a wacky nonsensical song with a baroque string arrangement that preaches a simple message: "Split Crotch Straight Jacket/Lit Scotch Freight Packet/Bets Ball See Sends/Let's All Be Friends!" "All Mixed Up" is ostensibly a song for children who have trouble with math but also provides advice to those kids who have trouble at home: "All mixed up? Why?/'Cause two times three ain't five?/Well that's not all that's kinda funny/Cause' mom minus dad/equals no more lunch money!" The indisputable keystone of this hallmark album is "Ballad of the Mentally Ill", a song that gives perhaps more than just a nod to The Everly Brothers: "Let's color the whole world in black/'Cause its our favorite crayon in the box/Let's dispose of the bodies in the back/'Cause it's where we keep Goldielocks!" Simply put, I am born anew in this blissful affirmation of life, this album for children written for all those who wish to remain young at heart.
Hey- I think I'll go to work tomorrow!

P.S. The corpses remain undiscovered. Thanks Molly!

Mentally Incontinent: That Time I Burned Down a Hooters, That Time My Stalker Crashed on My Couch, and Nine Other Stories from My Weird Life
$15.00
Wanting to support a fellow Farker I purchased Joe's book. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect. If it stunk, well, I could burn it during the Winter to heat the house.

What I found was that Mentally Incontinent was my guilty pleasure. I laughed, I cried, and I may have fapped furiously. Great work Joe - I hope to see another book in the future!

Challenged
$1.99

Gacy's Place: The Undiscovered Corpses
$9.99
Just days ago, I awoke one morning from an oppresive sleep without dreams and felt for the first time the sad veracity of myself- how irrevocably small I was, how decidedly insignificant my days were, how pointless the rest of my days would prove to be. I experienced this dull pang of irrelevance first below the clavicle and behind the upper pectorals. The ache of this revelation gradually spread to my extremities, where it felt as if my arm and leg muscles where withering away, a catabolic retreat from the inequity of existence. I fixed my gaze on my immobile ceiling fan. It seemed much further away from me, as if I had actually diminished in size or my room, in correspondence with my new understanding, had expanded to mock me. I felt the urge to weep, but my shrunken heart, beating needlessly as it seemed, couldn't muster enough conviction to feel even loathing for itself. A little short of breath, I spent an unknown amount of time lethargically pulling the hairs that gave little resistance from my eyebrows and scalp before finally closing my eyes on the remainder of that inexplicable and piteous day.
Before I proceed further, I am compelled to say that good children's music that everyone can enjoy isn't necessarily (fortunately for me) hard to find. A day later into my self-imposed bedriddance, my bladder was so perilously near rupture that I considered saturating myself over exerting the necessary care to find the bathroom. I decided then and there that a little light-hearted, funnin' around music for kids couldn't make me feel any worse. I relieved myself over the toilet and then, with great trepidation, dressed myself and drove to my local Border's (sorry, Amazon!). My purchasing decision in the children's aisle that day is where this review, and the newest chapter of my life, really begins.
"Gacy's Place: The Undiscovered Corpses" by The Mentally Ill is totally the best collection of children's songs ever recorded! This album reminds me of the idyllic childhood that I never quite had. In its youthfulness, it rebuilds my hope in the future upon each listening. Gacy's Place, a sonic sanctuary that predates Pee-Wee's Playhouse, is a domicile of wonder and fun in which all things zany could happen at any moment. The opening track, a Sousa-esque march rife with lush banjo accompaniment, aptly sets the mood for the rest of the album: "Gacy's Place!/Gacy's Place!/Fun fun fun/For the human race!/Come on in/Pull up a seat!/'Cause Gacy's Place/Is the funnest place to meet!" Really, the highlights on this album are too numerous for me, to my discredit, to mention. One favorite of mine is "Split Crotch Straight Jacket", a wacky nonsensical song with a baroque string arrangement that preaches a simple message: "Split Crotch Straight Jacket/Lit Scotch Freight Packet/Bets Ball See Sends/Let's All Be Friends!" "All Mixed Up" is ostensibly a song for children who have trouble with math but also provides advice to those kids who have trouble at home: "All mixed up? Why?/'Cause two times three ain't five?/Well that's not all that's kinda funny/Cause' mom minus dad/equals no more lunch money!" The indisputable keystone of this hallmark album is "Ballad of the Mentally Ill", a song that gives perhaps more than just a nod to The Everly Brothers: "Let's color the whole world in black/'Cause its our favorite crayon in the box/Let's dispose of the bodies in the back/'Cause it's where we keep Goldielocks!" Simply put, I am born anew in this blissful affirmation of life, this album for children written for all those who wish to remain young at heart.
Hey- I think I'll go to work tomorrow!

P.S. The corpses remain undiscovered. Thanks Molly!