marriage

Making Marriage Work
$29.95
Dr. Gottman has done years of couples research from which he's able to provide practical skills to help repair and strengthen your relationship. He has identified the "Four Horseman of the Apocolypse", the negative behaviors that cause the relationship to fall apart. He counters each of the four horseman with positive/workable behavior displayed by the "Masters" . (The Masters are couples who have been researched and are still together 10 - 20 years later)

Personality Conflicts, Dr. Gottman realized-once looking at subtext, are actually arguments about basic philosophical concepts very close to self. Examples; freedom, power, love,etc.... There is much more eye opening information on this DVD, along with some surprising statistics. Dr. Gottman ends the DVD by explaining 3 parts of the relationship that are EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to making the marriage work.

I highly recommend this DVD to any couple wanting to improve their relationship by understanding what is really going on and identifying the negative ways each are engaging in. That is the hard part, after that, Dr. Gottman offers how to adapt to problems, while honoring one another =) LOVE THIS!

Preparing for Marriage
$14.99
My boyfriend and I had been dating for 3 1/2 years and recently got engaged. My Mom had heard from someone at church that this was "a great book" so she gave 2 copies to my fiance and me without having really read or looked through it herself. I took a couple of hours last night to read through it and I must say that I am not a fan.

Not only was it trite and really NOT helpful, as other reviewers have said (the get-to-know-each-other questions were amazingly shallow and basic), but the authors have really traditional and in my opinion oppressive ideas about women's roles in marriage, i.e. that God created them for the purpose of being helpers to their husbands, and homemakers. And yes, they actually use the word HOMEMAKER.

It seemed to me like the authors had simply outlined what their idea of the "Perfect Christian Couple" looks like, and then proceeded to tell me that if my relationship doesn't fit that mold, it's not "God's will" for my fiance and I to get married.

One more thing that turned me off- throughout the book the authors are constantly recommending that you buy other books published by the same company. At one point they even list the 1-800 number you can call to place your order IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARAGRAPH.

I would have enjoyed a book more focused on helping us employ Biblical principles to become the best partners for each other that we possibly can, and less focused on asking "Is your marriage doomed to fail because it doesn't operate according to Fundamentalist Conservative Christan paradigms?"

A book that my fiance and I have been reading together and found to be much more helpful is Sacred Marriage by Gary L. Thomas.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
$14.00
I won't take up space with repeating the content of this really helpful book. There were many very good reviews that explained all that very well. What I would like to say is that the ideas and suggestions that are presented in this gem of a book are well worth the purchase price. My husband and I have been married for 28 years and we have a good marriage, we are committed to each other and want the best for our marriage, family and ourselves. But, we had issues and couldn't seem to get past the roadblocks in the way we communicated with each other. It seemed that so much of the time we were almost speaking a foreign lanuage to each other when it came to expressing ourselves. I being a woman, talked to him like he was one of my girlfriends, thinking he would surely understand what I am trying to express. And he, being a man of few words, would retreat into his computer and games, thinking that I am critizing him as a husband for not meeting my needs. He wanted to "fix" the problem the way most men do, thats how they are wired.
We picked up this book together because of the title, and I immediately began to plow through the pages. As I read, it became so clear that we were almost speaking a foreign language and that there were so many things that we were doing wrong out of ignorance. Girls, he is NOT your girlfriend, but he DOES want to connect and be close to you, we just need to learn how to do that. The authors suggest that connection is the key and they offer some very real and practical advice on how to make that happen for each of us.
Even tho I am farther along in the book, we have both began to put into practice what we have learned so far, and they are making a very real difference in our lives right now.
I can honestly say, things have never been better between us.
I hope this book will do the same for you and your marriage.

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry
$19.99
My fiancee and I read this book together (along with 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged ) before we got engaged. This book came highly recommended, and it lived up to my high expectations. We learned things about marriage, love, and our expectations of both that we'd never heard before. I mentioned to my parents (married for 30+ years) some of the topics the book discussed, and they attested to the importance of such subjects. They even wished they had a book like this when they were dating and thinking about getting married.

I strongly recommend it to couples seriously considering marriage and who are serious about having a lasting, successful marriage. It's informative and not judgmental, and backs up much of its claims with statistical data from surveys of happy and unhappy couples.

In my opinion, given that today's marriage has a 50% chance of lasting, why not invest in your future and read this book. It can only help.