Two Words, One Answer.
Tania Head
 The Wicker Man (2006) (Rated) $9.99 Have you ever had those moments in life in which you see a film years ago and you thought it was okay back then, but then when you watch it again it sucks? That's what happened when I watched this film. I thought it was okay three years ago, but then I watched it again and realized that it was a truly bad horror/suspense film. Now I have raved about a number of films that I think people unfairly victimize for being different, but sadly, this film isn't one of those films. This is a laughably bad horror film that has to be witnessed to be believed at how shoddy this film is. WHAT IT'S ABOUT: The film starts off with the main character Edward Malus (Played by washed up actor Nicholas Cage) and a car crash which leaves him depressed. But then out of the blue, he receives a letter his ex-fiancee named Willow who wants him to come to an island known as Summersisle, in which she claims that her daughter; Rowan; who is allegedly Edward's daughter as well has been kidnapped by the cult that runs the island. So Edward travels to the island to find out what has happened to Rowan and uncovers a sinister plot full of lies, and there is no escaping from it. MUSIC: It's a shame that such a good musical score was wasted for such an awful film. The music excels and is well-composed (Unlike the film) which is why I think it should have been used for a much better film. ACTION: This film is boring and is certainly not scary. The only shocking part about this film is the ending (Which is on side A of the disc because of the alternate ending), but other than that this film is a complete mess. The script is a ham-fisted, worthless effort that goes nowhere and doesn't come together. It's a grungy, disjointed mess. Most of the film is Nicholas Cage wandering aimlessly throughout the island continuously asking about Rowan and no one bothers to answer him. This film has no suspense involved because you don't care what happens, and you'll never root for Nicholas Cage. This film fails spectacularly as a horror film and as a suspense film. ACTING: This was just appalling. Nicholas Cage puts on a horrendous performance as a cop. He seems bored and makes his performance even worse with laughable dialogue that is never believable. Everyone else puts on terrible performances as well and you're not scared of them as a cult, they just look and sound ridiculous (Wait till you see Sister Summersisle's face paint for the festival, it looks like face paint they use at football games). But then again, I don't know whether to blame the actors themselves, or this horrendous script. Most likely it's both. OVERALL: The only way anyone will ever enjoy this film is in a B-movie way. Everything about this film is laughably bad (A cult obsessed with bees?) from its ludicrous and disjointed plot, to the terrible acting, and to the laughable dialogue, this film is sure-fire miss. If for some reason you want to see this film, only rent it. This might appeal to some, but for everyone else, you should just avoid it. If you want a good horror film about a crazy cult that's actually scary, I suggest you try the superb Silent Hill instead of this tripe. No wonder this was voted as being one of the worst horror remakes of all time. THE GOOD: Good music, some nice set designs, and the alternate ending was weird. THE BAD: Ham-fisted script that goes nowhere, horrendous acting and dialogue, it's completely boring, it's not scary, and it's not suspenseful. |
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