Steffiana

Stealing Harvard
$9.99
I bought this movie without ever seeing it because based on the trailer it looked hilarious. At the time Tom Green was the `it' comedian; his MTV show being huge and his high profile persona taking off (he married the amazingly talented and beautiful Drew Barrymore), so it was obvious that his named attached to a comedy would bring in a decent crowd. Sadly, `Stealing Harvard' wastes the talent he does have. Green possesses a very distinct kind of comedic talent that needs to be channeled properly to really work, and while he does have the funniest scenes in the film, he never really finds his footing here.

The story is farfetched. John Plummer hates his job and his fianc���s father, whom he happens to work for. He and his fianc��� have been saving their money in order to put a down payment on a house and get married and they finally have enough; $30,000. It just so happens that John promised his niece that he would pay for her schooling if she went to college and she just got accepted to Harvard; she just needs $30,000. Jon doesn't want to disappoint his fianc��� so he gets his idiot friend Duff to help him try and steal the money.

This of course leads to attempts at humor that often miss the mark.

Jason Lee is not my favorite actor. I just have yet to really see him do something I enjoy. I actually liked `Alvin and the Chipmunks' but that's another story. Dennis Farina is pathetic here, as is Leslie Mann, who has some preposterous character development. John C. McGinley is decent, but then again he is always the same. Megan Mullally is funny, but underused. I actually think the funniest supporting performance belongs to Martin Starr who plays the clerk at the liquor store John and Duff try and rob (probably the funniest scene in the film). Tom Green delivers his lines well and serves up some humor, but like I mentioned, the film wastes him.

In the end I can't say that this is a film I'll watch regularly. I've owned it for six years now and I've seen it twice (when I first bought it and then last night) and I don't plan on popping it back in the DVD tray for another six years or so. There are just much better comedies to look to for a laugh; so why waste my time with a merely serviceable one?

Cement
$14.98
The late, great Chris Penn plays a corrupt, drug-dealing, abusing and abusive cop in this modern film noir minor classic. Penn is hip deep in dirty deals with the local mafia when he discovers that his wife (Sherilyn Fenn) is bumping uglies with the son of the local Don. In retribution, Penn decides to bury the kid alive inside a new highway overpass.

CEMENT relies on a number of time-shifts and flashbacks to tell its tale, and the mood is one of dense darkness from start to finish. It's a grand little chestnut with a truly disturbing undertone.

Chris Penn will never have his Academy Award now, but he definitely had the talent and drive to be among the best.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

If the critics didn't have their knives out for this flick they did let out a collective yawn. After watching the movie I can see why it did boffo B.O. It is what it is. It's a family oriented action-comedy pic and it makes no bones about it. I would call it a cross between sitcom, "McGyver", with a dash of "Die Hard" thrown in. Nary a gunshot is fired yet there's a high thrill quotient on display. Kevin James makes for an affable screen presence but he won't make you forget corpulent legends like Jackie Gleason or John Candy. For whatever reason I think this makes a terrific double-bill with "The Pacifier".

Paul Blart: Mall Cop
$14.99
If the critics didn't have their knives out for this flick they did let out a collective yawn. After watching the movie I can see why it did boffo B.O. It is what it is. It's a family oriented action-comedy pic and it makes no bones about it. I would call it a cross between sitcom, "McGyver", with a dash of "Die Hard" thrown in. Nary a gunshot is fired yet there's a high thrill quotient on display. Kevin James makes for an affable screen presence but he won't make you forget corpulent legends like Jackie Gleason or John Candy. For whatever reason I think this makes a terrific double-bill with "The Pacifier".