Shannen Doherty

Another Day
$6.99
I love all time travel movies... well...
except TIMELINE, but anyway, THIS ONE is
a bit different. Don't understand the TIME
TRAVEL METHOD in this one though-- does your
past REALLY flash before your eyes if you're
about to drown-- or does it flash BEHIND you?
Oh well-- THAT'll make you crazy. THIS movie
has some ODD music the first half. If it was
on a VHS-cassette, you'd be tempted to clean
the tape-heads: sounds like it's dragging...
not the PLOT... the MUSIC.
Anyway, the star looks pretty CREEPY on the
DVD-cover. Looks like a vampire-- and looks
STRETCHED-- and maybe-- SPLOTCHY: although
she looks just fine inside the case and ON
the actual DVD.
Well, that's about it. She has a child; she
doesn't. The woman puts off marrying her fella.
Her best friend waits forever to marry HER. She
makes him wait. Her fiance dies TWICE. She gets
with her best friend. Hmmm. Slightly different--
don't get into the water with THIS lady!
Except the crappy music during the first half,
it was an entertaining little Canadian effort!

Christmas Caper
$24.98
When I first saw this movie on abc family I was enchanted. Shannen Dohertys incredible acting immediately drew me into the movie and held my attention until the very end. This is now my favorite Christmas movie and i recommend it to anyone who likes the normal Christmas cheer mixed with a bit of mischief.

The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon
$19.97
The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon: 1 out of 10: Well, I was two minutes into the film and my girlfriend jinxed us. Hey you know this movie isnt that bad. I turned pale real pale. You dont tempt the Gods like that. Not with a made for Sci-fi Channel movie. Not one where the lead is Shannen Doherty. The words barely left my girlfriend's mouth, and a CGI puppet began sliming a Frat Boy in a diaper. The Horror. The Horror.

If I am going to start somewhere, I have to start with the Frat Boys in diapers. The movie claims these are Aztecs still hidden in the Grand Canyon at the end of the 19th century. (I know I know) Apparently, they have been hiding from the white man for many years. Not to mention the Havasupai and the Painte and the Pai and the tourists at the Upper Canyon Ranch and perhaps the boys in blue down at Ft. Mohave.

Anyway, this lost tribe of Aztecs, like some Japanese WW2 sniper still hiding in a palm tree in 1971, is hidden in the Grand Canyon. What seems stranger is that they consist almost entirely of a hereto thou undiscovered group of Aztecs who look like white college football players wearing diapers (well more of a mawashi) and war paint. I am all in favor of multicultural casting, but I cant believe that it isnt a little insensitive to portray Native Americans as, well, extras in a Fire Island movie.

Hold on a second, Fire Island Movie???? The men are all buff and practically naked. The two women are wearing pants and done up to look twice their age. The monster spews slime on the buff boys for no good reason. Oh God, no, its Jeepers Creepers 2 all over again. The homoerotic horror film strikes again.

Now, Im not sure that the over the top homoeroticism is director Farhad Manns doing (or even intentional), but Mann is responsible for both Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace as well as Return to Two Moon Junction, so with a track record like that I am prepared to blame him for a Swine Flu outbreak, let alone this film.

So what else went wrong? Well, the Quetzalcoatl design is all wrong (he looks like a puppet) and his CGI is bad by even the very low Sci-fi Channel standards. The sets look like Kirk and Spock are going to beam down at any moment. Half the explorers are grossly overweight; an unlikely condition in the far west wilderness that distance from a Wal-Mart. As noted above Shannen Doherty, who isnt even forty, looks forty-five; and Heather Doerksen, who isnt even thirty, looks fifty. Finally, they have a five minute flashback at the end that repeats the entire film.

But lets face it, buff white frat boys in diapers getting slimed from off camera and pretending to be Indians? Yeah, that is just all sorts of wrong.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun
$9.98
Cyndi Lauper had tons of hit singles on her first album, but the most memorable was probably "Girls Just Want To Have Fun." It had a great video and a famous wrestler played her father. Don't ask me who it was, because I don't follow "professional" wrestling, but it was someone well known in that milieau. Was that part of her charm, or was it a career killing mistake, her involvement with the "professional" wrestling world? Whatever. Still, it seems like her first album was chock full o' hits, and her second was a stiff. Anyway, Lauper was quite the quirky character, with an amazing set of pipes, and you would think that a film named after her hit song would have just a little bit of Cyndi in it. In the movie, the song "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" isn't even done by Cyndi Lauper. What a waste. It is like the K-Tell version. In spite of the fact that Cyndi Lauper might have been difficult to work with, the fact that she was excluded kills any credibility the movie would hope to have.

The best thing about it is that Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt are in it, two actresses who would go on to greater stardom. Here they are both very young, but their talent shines through.

Helen Hunt looks like herself, only smaller, younger, but still unmistakibly herself. She plays Lynne, who is kind of the bad girl, the one who flouts all rules and regulations. Besides dancing, her main interest is kissing:

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Lynne: Whenever I'm in a room with a guy, no matter who it is - a date, my dentist, anybody - I think, If we were the last two people on Earth, would I puke if he kissed me?
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Sarah Jessica Parker looks even younger. Who remembers Square Pegs? You can still tell that it is her, but girl does she ever look young. I thought she was a pretty good dancer, and also a gymnast, but they used stand-ins for some of the dance routines. She plays Janey, who thinks mainly of dancing, but she can be swayed, especially when her dance partner is such a cute hunk of beef cake.

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Janey: He's just uh! You know. I mean uh!
Lynne: Is he gonna call you tomorrow?
Janey: Yeah, I think so.
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The funny thing is Lynne knows exactly what Janey means. The boy who exasperates her so is Jeff Malene, played by Lee Montgomery. He went on to have a less than stellar career.

John Silverman was Jeff's pal, Drew Boreman, and he was a social climber, phoney, but endearing nevertheless. If anybody saw a sit com called The Single Guy, well, then, you might recognize Silverman who was the single guy. Here he is so young that you can't guess who he is. He looks familiar, though.

A very young Shannen Doherty was Maggie Malene. I'd call her character 'surley' Temple. She was the bratty younger sister of Jeff Malene, Lynne's dance partner. What if the two most annoying characters got together? Would their annoyance cancel each other's out? Would it be cute and would you go "ahhhhhh"? No. You would not go "aaahhhhhh."

The third most annoying character is Natalie Sands (Holly Gagnier). She is a spoiled rich girl who also wants to win the dance contest and also has designs on Janey's dance partner, Jeff.

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Natalie: [sitting on Jeff's motorcycle] I'm holding this for ransom.
[Jeff gives her a look]
Natalie: Awww, did you and Shirley Temple have a bad rehearsal?
Jeff: Yeah, it wasn't one of the best five afternoons of my life. I'm not really in the mood to shoot the breeze so if you don't mind...
Natalie: *Fine*.
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She gives Jeff an invitation to her Sweet 16 Party, held at the Country Club. Jeff has no interest in going, but Drew Boreman sees it as an excellent opportunity for social climbing, and while getting his tuxedo pressed at the mall he happens upon or is happened upon by Lynne and Janey, who make copies of the invitation and pass them to all and sundry. Not only is Natalie trying to lure away Jeff, she also cheats in the dance contest. So, the prank is more than justified.

There is a montage of Lynne and Janey passing out copies of the invitations to Natalie's party to all kinds of punks and weirdos. Some fall into the gutter, and these women are just coming out of a gym, and they pick the car up so they can get the fallen flyers. Later, at the Sweet 16 the two muscle women pick up a couch with an elderly couple on it and turn it around, for no apparent reason. A boy jumps on the buffett table and kicks a turkey, then wears it like some kind of ugh boot or croc.

If it was meant to be an homage to rebelious youth, it just came off as silly. If girls or boys really want to have fun, instead of this time waster, I would recommend "Absolute Beginners." Directed by Julian Temple, and featuring David Bowie, it is a teen rebellion, music/dance film where the kids are alright.

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Rikki: [carried onto set by 4 muscular guys] Let's all hear it for steroids. And now, the news!
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Sex and the City - The Movie (Special Edition) (2008) Sarah Jessica Parker was Carrie Bradshaw
Smart People (2008) Sarah Jessica Parker was Janet Hartigan
Bobby (Widescreen Edtion) (2006) Helen Hunt was Samantha
Cast Away (Widescreen Edition) (2000) Helen Hunt was Kelly Frears
Pay It Forward (2000) Helen Hunt was Arlene McKinney
Dr. T & The Women (2000) Helen Hunt was Bree
As Good As It Gets (1997) Helen Hunt was Carol Connelly
Ed Wood (Special Edition) (1994) Sarah Jessica Parker was Dolores Fuller
L.A. Story (1991) Sarah Jessica Parker was SanDeE*
Footloose (1984) Sarah Jessica Parker was Rusty

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Janey: Woo!
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