He's going

Going Down Under
$16.98
This is the most baffling 86 minutes committed to film.

The story of Jono (Ed Kavalee) having sex with a meat mincer and getting the penis of a porn star grafted on is somewhat lost amongst the many inexplicable subplots. None of which made sense or advanced the story in any way.

There's a series of scenes where Sammy Loora goes to the pie shop. I know that's his name because he gets his own title card and theme song each time he appears. He plays no part in the actual story. There are multiple 'self-amusement' scenes. They play no part in the actual story. Mandy (Jo from Big Brother Australia 2003) and Fiona (Aphrodite from Big Brother Australia 2004) have an in-depth discussion about the legality of the Iraq War as they wax each other, purely to set up a 'Bad Bush' joke. There's gratuitous nork action, jelly wrestling, bestiality, trannies and watersports. Jono's mum looks like a man and 28 Days (A band popular in the late 90s/early 2000s) appear onstage for roughly 5 seconds. During the credits we get treated to home-video footage of kangaroos in a zoo, Japanese schoolgirls cuddling a guy in a koala costume (he appears all through the movie not doing anything relevant at all), and Austen Tayshus chasing an emu (which was filmed without permission from the emu's owner).

Going Down Under is 86 minutes of utter bewilderment. There is no point whatsoever to this film.

He's Going to Get the Glory
$17.49
As a songwriter myself, I pay attention and remember people that write the songs I like. And as a pianist, I also pay attention to people who have detailed and complex musical arrangements backing the vocals. I first discovered Marcus Scott's music on the DFW album "Pressin' On" and wondered who this songwriter was that takes psalms and other scripture and turns them into such great songs with such detailed musical arrangements. The scriptural backing gives his songs lyrical integrity that is missing in a lot of modern gospel music. There are some really wonderful songs on this album but my favorite is "Saved". I also love the title track and "I Call You Father". This is a blessed and anointed songwriter here, people. And if you're a gospel musician and you're looking for interesting music to play or teach, he's got that covered, too.

The man who thinks he's a leader but turns to see no one following is only going for a walk - funny bumper stickers (Large 14x4 inches)
$5.49
Size: Large 14 x 4 inches. Perfect for your car, truck, motorhome, office cubicle, etc.

The List: 7 Ways to Tell If He's Going to Marry You--in 30 Days or Less!
$12.95
CONS:
There are several problems with The List, the most obvious being the two basic premises: men can ONLY experience love at first sight (the authors call it "the alarm") AND the intense love rush of a new relationship guarantees eternal wedded bliss. Research and common sense be damned...

Other strange premises in this book:
1. The authors keep talking about only two options: either he proposes within thirty days or you end up in a 5-year go-nowhere relationship (they seem to be kind of obsessed with 5 year relationships). Most people I know get married or split up within 1 to 3 years.
2. Men either propose within a month or they are players who string women along.
3. All women have "women math" (the authors' words, not mine)(p. 19) in their head: at what age they want to find Mr. Right, when to marry, when to have kids, when to inherit an enormous fortune from a rich aunt in Europe (okay, I made that last one up).

And a few fun quotes:

1. Work, or keeping your job, is not important: "A List Man would never risk giving another man the opportunity to steal your heart while he is workign late at the office" (p. 85).
2. You must spend ALL of your free time together: "If you wanted your own life, you wouldn't be interested in getting married, would you?" (p. 149).
3. People are extremely simple and easy to understand: "Afte thirty days he knows everything about you there is to know" (p. 189).


PROS
That being said, there are a couple of decent premises in this book that apply to most, though not all, relationships:
1. He should make the first move if you want a relationship. Sexist, but true.
2. If he doesn't call within a couple of days after your first meeting, he is not that interested.
3. If all your "dates" consist of him bringing you along to meet his buddies at the sports bar, then he is not serious about you.
4. If he lies about big things, he is a loser.


CONCLUSION:
I love reading relationship books as brain candy, and this one did not disappoint me. I even found a couple of parallels to my courtship with my husband of 8 years (he called within 24 hours, we had the "neverending date", etc.) I seriously doubt, though, that this book is truly helpful for women in search of a husband.