Hasselhoff

Don't Hassel the Hoff: The Autobiography
$24.95
This is a surprisingly interesting book if you want stories about Hasselhoff's days on Knight Rider and Baywatch. He also goes into detail about his European music career and famous people he has known (Liberace?). It even has an episode guide and list of recordings. There are enough good stories in the book to make it worth reading.

But he fails to adequately address his personal problems. He likes to blame the women in his life for his inability to keep relationships and glosses over his drinking issues. He doesn't do well at self-analysis--why would this guy who says he had an ideal childhood with a loving family (including four sisters) feel so insecure with women and be unable to handle life without using drugs or alcohol?

Another problem is that this was originally published in England and has distracting British spelling and punctuation. Couldn't St. Martin's have sprung for a proofreader for the American edition? It looks like they rushed it to take advantage of his success on America's Got Talent.

He says he dedicates himself to the children of the world and has many examples of going out of the way to help those in need. He has a very positive attitude about his career. But he seems to have his priorities out of line and forgets to take care of his wife and kids at home. This was written in 2006 and now we know that his daughters are trying to straighten him out. There is no indication here of why his is still so childlike and unable to grow up, even though it makes for fun reading.

Looking For-Best of David Hasselhoff
$22.49
Good Lord. That's what you'll whimper as you listen to the sweet ballads of Hoff and the raging fist pumping rockers that pack more adrenaline than a flight with John Denver. I never thought it would be possible to ejaculate without using my hands until I heard Hot Shot City. The CD should have come special edition with some Kleenex.

Official David Hasselhoff 2010 Calendar
$7.65

Very Best of David Hasselhoff
$11.98
For years the music industry has been shamelessly promoting semi-talented artists (such as U2 and Bruce Springsteen) in an effort to inexplicably hold back once-in-a-century phenomena like David Hasselhoff. Not any more!

This album is the penultimate of trans-genre hits: ranging from YANNI's yawns to ANTHRAX headbangings, David's music will touch you no matter how you keep your hair and what color clothes you favor.

Moreover, clinical studies have shown that students who were listening to Hassy's tunes while doing math scored significantly higher than Hassy-free controls. Are you to deny your children the extra advantage?

A true classic for all ages!

[WARNING: May induce intense burger cravings and intoxicated vomiting]