Gabrielle Tuite

Iron Man
$9.99
For some reason, it took me about six months to watch this movie. When I finally did, it was way more than I expected. RDJr isn't my favorite actor, but he was perfect for this role. Paltrow played hers well, and Jeff Bridges really surprised me. One of my go-to movies on Blu-ray from now on. One of the best combinations of story, action and SFX I know of.

Fast Dates, The Making of the Racebike Pinup Calendar... [VHS]
$19.95
I would like to review this video because I like beutiful woman.

Iron Man

For some reason, it took me about six months to watch this movie. When I finally did, it was way more than I expected. RDJr isn't my favorite actor, but he was perfect for this role. Paltrow played hers well, and Jeff Bridges really surprised me. One of my go-to movies on Blu-ray from now on. One of the best combinations of story, action and SFX I know of.

Miss Cast Away & The Island Girls
$19.95
There are many shocks associated with this movie. The most obvious is that Michael Jackson actually appears in the film, and it is not just a lookalike as in other film parodies. Reading the credits provides a few major shocks: I couldn't believe there was actually a director of photography working on this film (film students deliver more professional looking results) or that there are people credited for the special effects (YOU can do better on your home computer). I'm shocked by how this film is categorized: as a comedy? Really? Just because it mixes together characters and situations from different movies in the guise of a parody doesn't qualify it for being a comedy. In order to fit this qualification, there really is only one requirement: an occasional joke! Unfortunately the director did not hire a writer but insists on writing his own work, providing another shock: how could a person go so long without grasping the concept of humor? Has anyone EVER told him a joke? I'm not exaggerating or being mean; there's not one joke in this film? Writer/director Bryan Michael Stoller (if you're asking Who? there's no shock there) demonstrates what he THINKS is funny early in the film when two characters whose cell phone connection cuts out yell "Can you hear me?" into their phones over and over. Are you rolling on your sides? Stoller expects you to.

If you doubt that Stoller does not understand comedy, consider this shocker: there is actually one person who delivers a good performance in this film (yes, I know, that in itself is a shock) and the director hardly uses him at all. The person I am referring to is the one who delivers a very convincing impersonation of Austin Powers; this person should have been the star of the film. If he was, there might have been some actual humor, even accidentally, injected into this intended-comedy. (Or maybe it wasn't intended to be a comedy and Stoller was trying to do a sci-fi adventure?) The film stars Eric Roberts (I'd be shocked if you're shocked at this) and Charlie Schlatter (who sadly could never again regain the acclaim he achieved for 18 Again!) and a cast of bikini-clad beauties. No, their bikinis never come off, and yes that would have been an obvious way to make this movie infinitely more watchable. I suppose Stoller deserves some credit in the virtue department for not taking that route, but it seriously WOULD have made watching this film less of a painful experience.

The biggest shock of all of course is that this movie was actually produced, and I'd be seriously shocked if Stoller is proud of his completed product. If you can imagine what it would be like to have a robot with a computer program that tells it HOW to create a parody, but which otherwise has no inherent ability to develop humor on its own, you might have some idea what this film is like. The ingredients are all there, but there is no chef to make anything of them, and so they are all spoiling and waiting to be tossed into the trash (which, by the way, is the perfect place to deposit this film).